2012 has began ; Chapter Two
This is probably the most difficult month I'm going through alone here in Nilai. I wanted to relax, wanted to take a step back from the hectic heart of KL, so I stayed over for three weeks already here in INTI.
It's the third week I stayed over. For every weekend, I was in KL. First weekend was with the I-Crews, second was for the Boss, Calvin. He, is the most inspiring person I've met in reality as to today. He doesn't have fancy fancy things, he doesn't have to hard sell himself because he knows where he stand. I've learnt a lot from him. It's my greatest honor to work with him for a semester. Sadly, he's gonna leave us. I wish him the best in his future up comings, where I'm sure it's gonna be great.
So, what's up with me when I go missing in action for three weeks you say? It's mid of the semester already. Mid of the most important semester. Greedy me, took up 4 core subjects with insane workload. Indeed, a breeze for my boys, but tough on me. Well, nonetheless I get more and more annoying with bimbo questions to ask my boys because it is easy to them but I'm not enlighten at all. So once in a while, they get frustrated cuz I don't seem to understand a simple theory. I'm sorry. :( But even if it's gonna annoy them, I will do it anyway. I'm a people-person. I don't work alone. I can, but I'm rather dependent on people. So I'd drop my ego, forget that I can be enlighten alone and just ask, ask and ask.
But just little happiness is that I became quite a part of my boys now. I'm included in their dinner time and other stuffs. It's very menial to a lot of people, but to me, relationship is my key, in fact the utmost essential subject. I've been clicking better with them now and that makes me real happy. :)
Talking about relationships, I always thought I was stronger, until I met you. I didn't know, when you're not around I can feel so weak alone. But I'm trying, trying real hard to be more independent now. Cuz certain things, I can't face alone. Bad things happen and I can't even tell you. I know it's pathetic facing things alone, I can't. That's why I guess make me feel like being there for anyone who needs me.
I've never been into the shoes and witness love ones go away. But I didn't want you to face it alone. It upsets me for I've been talking to you all the while and I didn't realize that. I'm sorry. I want people around me to know, I'll be there when you need someone. I don't have to be the most important person to you, but I won't be shy to let you know I'm there.
Coming back to my tired month of February, I wanted to break down so so many times this month. So many things that happened. It's difficult, cuz I'm alone. In a way, I'm glad I'm mentally still tough. Even though my facial expression cannot hinder what i felt, but doesn't matter does it? I'm willing to run the extra mile. I believe stress changes someone. I guess I am trying real hard to cope with it. Yet I'm glad there are still people who asked if I'm okay. :) I'll be good and I'll do great.
I always tell myself that I'm not perfect, it's okay to make mistakes. I guess thats the reason that is stopping me from working harder. But yet again, I didn't want to push myself through hell. Anyways, with faith I believe March is gonna be worst for me. Assignments and tests are piling up plus a distance between us, I have yet decided how am I going to face the coming month.
It's the third week I stayed over. For every weekend, I was in KL. First weekend was with the I-Crews, second was for the Boss, Calvin. He, is the most inspiring person I've met in reality as to today. He doesn't have fancy fancy things, he doesn't have to hard sell himself because he knows where he stand. I've learnt a lot from him. It's my greatest honor to work with him for a semester. Sadly, he's gonna leave us. I wish him the best in his future up comings, where I'm sure it's gonna be great.
So, what's up with me when I go missing in action for three weeks you say? It's mid of the semester already. Mid of the most important semester. Greedy me, took up 4 core subjects with insane workload. Indeed, a breeze for my boys, but tough on me. Well, nonetheless I get more and more annoying with bimbo questions to ask my boys because it is easy to them but I'm not enlighten at all. So once in a while, they get frustrated cuz I don't seem to understand a simple theory. I'm sorry. :( But even if it's gonna annoy them, I will do it anyway. I'm a people-person. I don't work alone. I can, but I'm rather dependent on people. So I'd drop my ego, forget that I can be enlighten alone and just ask, ask and ask.
But just little happiness is that I became quite a part of my boys now. I'm included in their dinner time and other stuffs. It's very menial to a lot of people, but to me, relationship is my key, in fact the utmost essential subject. I've been clicking better with them now and that makes me real happy. :)
Talking about relationships, I always thought I was stronger, until I met you. I didn't know, when you're not around I can feel so weak alone. But I'm trying, trying real hard to be more independent now. Cuz certain things, I can't face alone. Bad things happen and I can't even tell you. I know it's pathetic facing things alone, I can't. That's why I guess make me feel like being there for anyone who needs me.
I've never been into the shoes and witness love ones go away. But I didn't want you to face it alone. It upsets me for I've been talking to you all the while and I didn't realize that. I'm sorry. I want people around me to know, I'll be there when you need someone. I don't have to be the most important person to you, but I won't be shy to let you know I'm there.
Coming back to my tired month of February, I wanted to break down so so many times this month. So many things that happened. It's difficult, cuz I'm alone. In a way, I'm glad I'm mentally still tough. Even though my facial expression cannot hinder what i felt, but doesn't matter does it? I'm willing to run the extra mile. I believe stress changes someone. I guess I am trying real hard to cope with it. Yet I'm glad there are still people who asked if I'm okay. :) I'll be good and I'll do great.
I always tell myself that I'm not perfect, it's okay to make mistakes. I guess thats the reason that is stopping me from working harder. But yet again, I didn't want to push myself through hell. Anyways, with faith I believe March is gonna be worst for me. Assignments and tests are piling up plus a distance between us, I have yet decided how am I going to face the coming month.
Oh, this is a shout out for PuiKuan, because I guess she has been my blog supporter all the while. :) It's my greatest happiness to inspire someone. Glad I did it for you.
p/s gonna sooonn, hopefully is really sooon, before end of February, I can get other pictures posted up as well and share with you what I've been up to here. :)
Cheers,
HuiJin Liew
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