to the first love.

So I browsed through an old book where I tend to draft everything I feel before I write them 'officially' as a letter or expression.

The first book was written from the day I made the first handmade card for her birthday until the day I wrote the last letter of goodbye. I realise how I really did enjoy whatever we've done in the past together, despite many would say its just puppy love. I know that. But I think it's slightly more. There's no shouts, no arguments, no whines...but just pure enjoyment to keep both company even when other people judge us. Even when traveling to her house was an arduous journey, and I sat public bus for over an hour to reach home, I knew that it was always worth it. We don't spend a lot of time for one another, there's no special celebration on special days, but days are special when I spent them with her.  So phone messages was pretty everything that's keeping us together. Every word written, I probably read them several times a day.

I read through in the book about everything I wrote. My English was quite bad back then, but my message was always so clear. I think age and experience made people change. I can never write that straight forward, that sincerely anymore. Not that I remember of. First love, despite at whatever age, despite known as puppy love, it somehow carves the deepest scar in us. It was over for years now, but now that I think of the past, well I guess I want to go back to then when I had so much courage to make someone so happy receiving all the tiniest gift. I want to go back then, and resolve the relationship in a better manner. I should have gone to her, and spend a day just walking down the memory lane together, and laugh at each other's childish acts, and silly mistakes and say a proper goodbye.

p/s hey Steph, you make awesome carbonara spaghetti BTW. :P

I do owe an apology, but also a congratulations.

Congratulations on your 'not-so-new' found love! *throws confetti* yay!

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