Relativity
One day, someone asked me, if over the years I've felt happier than before? Just generally. I actually felt not of a great difference (I am not really an optimistic person, just so you know). I thought that it has changed, but in percentage of things I've gained, pretty much are in exchange for things I've lost. In short, it's been a fair share.
Over the years, as much as I want to believe that I have the power to decide, decisions made me instead. There will never be a good or bad decisions, because every decision holds a fair share of cause and effect. As I decided a different set of priorities and preferences, I think I've lost the "little magic" that I use to have. Its kinda like a time that we are let out, like sheep, to find out the types of food that feeds us best. And best, is only justified by the rewards we earn from the decisions made. I used to take pride and credits in choices I make, because I think I've made the best and I always chant to myself, no regrets...no regrets. I used to be a terrible driver, I do not like to be denied my need for speed. I used to make quick decisions that I think is the best at given time. I used to still smile even if I know I've killed them a thousand times in my head. I used to keep my phone always by my side. I used to make sure I always have a company with me wherever I go. I used to be stronger, and unafraid of departures. I used to keep my feelings to myself.
And I just became vice versa. I felt that I've lose and gain some.
It's probably an endless learning process to come to think about it. I just like that gushing temporary passion, but I've lost it. I get to think more before allowing myself to fall between those cracks of passion. Again, between those hesitation, I lost my confidence.
It can be an endless loop. So many chances, but it's whether or not we have decided to take it. Sometimes, there are conditions that kept chances away, but there are other conditions that are waiting for us to make the change. We are, finally, who we let ourselves to be.
There are times when you called, and I wished you didn't. There are times that I am ever grateful to have answered.
Jean.
And I just became vice versa. I felt that I've lose and gain some.
It's probably an endless learning process to come to think about it. I just like that gushing temporary passion, but I've lost it. I get to think more before allowing myself to fall between those cracks of passion. Again, between those hesitation, I lost my confidence.
It can be an endless loop. So many chances, but it's whether or not we have decided to take it. Sometimes, there are conditions that kept chances away, but there are other conditions that are waiting for us to make the change. We are, finally, who we let ourselves to be.
There are times when you called, and I wished you didn't. There are times that I am ever grateful to have answered.
Jean.
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